Making these Zombie Hello Kitty cookies got me thinking.....and it's ALWAYS bad when I start thinking. What's a baker to do when zombies attack?
There are many things y'all should know in life. The most important thing, may be knowing WHAT to do in the event that zombies attack....YES.....zombies.
I've watched enough zombie movies with my son to know, it COULD happen. There are many survival guides out there providing us with lists of what to do in the event of a zombie apocalypse, but what about us bakers? We don't have stock piles of guns hidden in our oven like Mr. and Mrs. Smith. We need a list for us...after all when zombie's attack, I'll be in my kitchen......baking in heels.
It's up to me to save us all.....so ladies pay close attention to my list so you'll know just what to do.
THE BAKER'S TOP 5 WAYS TO SURVIVE A ZOMBIE ATTACK
1. Have zombie appealing food. (Witches Cauldrons with eyes and bloody bones, creepy eyeballs, or monster cookies) Pop on over to Kristan and Calley's blog and learn how to make those. These zombie appealing treats may come in handy. Everybody's taste change.......lets get those zombies to like these great treats instead of brains.....Hey it may work.....these treats rock!
2. Never trust anyone.....you never know whose been affected......even your mom. You're friends may think she's hot, and bakes the best treats..... but DON'T trust her.....she could be a zombie.
3. Have many weapons on hand. If you are lucky enough to have a secret stash of guns in your oven, well good for you, but those of us who actually use our ovens, don't and we need other weapons. Cooper cookie cutters work well to throw at a zombies. They are sturdy and will keep their shape better. After all, we don't want to ruin our cutters on the zombies. In the event we manage to destroy them all, we will go back to cookie-ing.
4. Use stashes of royal icing to coat the floor. We all know how sticky this icing is and how hard it dries. This is sure to stop a zombie in their tracks. If you are like me and hate sticky things, have one of your children put this down. Kids love sticky and it ALWAYS finds them. This will be a fun activity for any child.
5. Last but not least, the HIGH HEEL SHOE. Now those who aren't baking in heels may have a problem with this one. Myself, on the other hand will have this one in the bag. Pull off those stilettos and use the heel to base of zombie's neck destroying the brain stem. Don't worry about the blood. The red will give you beautiful red Louboutin soles. It's a win win situation.
Now that the ZOMBIES are all DESTROYED.......
~Throw on your heels and get to baking~
*disclaimer- do not try this on your mom at home! She is NOT a zombie, she is a hot baker with really cute heels!